Dealing with Unsolicited Advice

steve jobs quote

If you’re someone who loves unsolicited advice and opinions, then this blog isn’t for you.  But, if you’re someone who recoils from the advice of the know-it-alls in the world, then this is for you.  There are two main reasons I’ve found that increase the frustration and annoyance one feels in these moments.    One is lack of self-confidence, and the other is a need for validation.

To get through these moments, I’ve found it best to remember that advice and opinions given by others are not facts.  They are words given based on the giver’s personal experience.  That’s it.  They have no bearing or truth unless we give them that power.  Most of the time, these offerings are given with good intentions.  They usually don’t mean any harm and are instead simply concerned and want the best for us.

When this doesn’t soften the sting, I ask myself if I’m looking for their validation.  If this is the case, someone’s advice or opinion is taken as disapproval and/or evidence that what I’m doing isn’t good enough or right.  I know this is especially true when I find myself trying to defend what I’m doing.  In these instances, it’s seemingly harder to rationalize that the person has good intentions and means well.  Instead, the person becomes someone who doesn’t understand, never approves of anything, or isn’t supportive.

But, get this…it’s not about them, it’s YOU.  You have to believe in you and be confident in your ability to make good choices.  You have to believe that you’re doing great and are on the right track.  You have to be your number one supporter and cheerleader.  No one can love you more than you love yourself.  You have to believe in yourself, even if no one else does.  It’s great to receive validation and confirmation from others, but the need for it should never supersede the validation and confirmation you receive from God.  What God has for you is for you, and when you truly believe that, you can hear the advice and opinions from others and simply take it with a grain of salt.


Need support in handling life’s obstacles and challenges with confidence and grace?  I work with women who are unhappy with their careers, relationships and life and support them in creating a life that is a true reflection of who they are.  Visit my website or contact me and let’s get started!


Coach Tiko


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